I often hear people’s workplace complaints. These are the most common. Please share yours with me.

1. Lack of manners: Like saying “please” and “thank you.” Including lack of general courtesy, interrupting, being distracted at meetings, and even being stinky!
2. Not listening: Individuals often check their phones, saying, “Go ahead, I’m listening.” This feels dismissive and disinterested.
3. Lack of trust: Frequently, relationships are developed quickly without getting to know a coworker’s ethics. When the relationship fizzles out, the information shared in confidence is oftentimes spread or gossiped about.
4. Neglecting to respond to emails, texts, invitations: People avoid responding because they’re afraid to say, “no.” Well then, expect follow-ups. A reply can be brief, “I’ll get back to you at the end of the week.” “Not at this time.” “I need more information.” Just REPLY!
5. Disapproval: Not about your jeans or hair cut, but about your opinions on significant matters. Because of today’s casual work environment and culture, the office can feel like an extension of your personal life. This feeling lends itself to sharing personal opinions about non-work related issues like causes, politics, religious beliefs. I’m a proponent of sharing only pieces of my personal life; not the big stuff.

1. Someone tells you they’re getting divorced or breaking off a long-term relationship. No one wants to hear:

• I’m not surprised. You’re better off.
• I knew it, what took you so long.
• You’ll find somebody new in no time.
• Do you mind if I give them a call?

2. Someone asks you to attend the funeral of their loved one. No one wants to hear:

• There’ll be so many people there, I don’t need to go.
• I saw them when they were alive.
• He’s dead, he won’t know whose there anyway.
• I hate funerals. I’ll see ya at the buffet after.

3. Someone refuses and adult beverage. No one wants to hear:

• You don’t know what you’re missing.
• Come on, I hate to drink alone.
• What are you, a recovering alcoholic?
• You look like you could use a couple of drinks.

Those of us who are married or have been married will have a wide range of opinions about mother in-laws.

Becoming a mother in-law requires time to adjust. Especially if she and her son/daughter had a free-flowing exchange of opinions and ideas. Then, what seems like all of a sudden, her opinions are no longer sought after. This is how is should be. However, when a lifetime of closeness abruptly shifts, it takes a minute. This tends to happen more so with mothers and sons, than mothers and daughters.

Being the mother of two precious sons, I tried to prepare myself to let them go. In my mind, I’ve managed, but not my heart which holds them near. I consider myself and my sons blessed to have two marvelous women with whom they share their lives.

Move-in-the-mother-in-law Situations

1. Cultural expectations: Some cultures move in their mother. Or she stays for extended periods, especially if she lives abroad.
2. Sudden illness or your father in-law dies: Make room for the unexpected new tenant.
3. Childcare assistance: A mother in-law can come in handy. But will she respect how you want to bring up your children?
4. Got kicked out: Her other daughter in-law couldn’t take it anymore. Your turn!

If only there was a class for mother in-law’s to be. I’ve been working on creating one. In the meantime, here is some sage advice I’ve tried to put into practice. I received some of these tips from my mom and my mother in-law whom I adore.

• Listen and learn about your daughter in-law; her likes and dislikes, about her job, and her family.
• Apologize in advance. Even though I try to keep my mouth shut, unsolicited advice will be shared. I am a mom!
• Appreciate and compliment her home, her food, her outfit.
• Thank her for loving your son (and grandchildren).

Here is a video with some tips for mother in-laws:   https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uwyf8Z76woQ

If you’ve gotten off on the wrong foot, start over. Discuss what each of your expectations are. Remember that you have one love in common. And most importantly, speak in a respectful tone, be flexible and compromise.

“A mother gives you life; a mother in-law gives you her life.“ –Amit Kalantri

We are approaching the holiday season. Please submit your questions or dilemmas. Your name will NOT BE DISCLOSED. Specifics will be edited to maintain your privacy.

The above etiquette tips are general, subject to interpretation, specific circumstances, and personal perspective. There are always more options