I often receive private messages requesting advice. Sadly, there have been more about family and friendships ending over political differences.

I am mostly sad for the children. Because of us (adults) who can’t seem to hold a civil conversation, they lose. They no longer get to see their favorite uncle, cousins, or grandmother. And, they are learning that we dismiss people who don’t completely agree with us. 

Why I choose not to ‘go there’: The politician or party we so desperately defend is unlikely to care about our private life once they have our vote. They will go along their merry way while we either sit gleefully or disgruntled, with broken relationships.

If I could only offer one tip, it would be to choose not to discuss topics related to politics, especially with a family member or friend who holds an opposing view. Simple right?

Growing up, I remember aunts, uncles, grandparents having spirited discussions where they disagreed. All the while sharing a drink and a meal; laughing together. 

What changed? We no longer accept our family members who disagree with us. It happens to families who are unknown and known as we’ve seen RFK Jr’s family publicly denounce him.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/kennedy-withdraws-trump-1.7302949.
Why didn’t they privately send him a text?  Perhaps it was to inform the world that they are not in agreement with him. Okay, but what did it change? Does America really care? Apparently, they think so. 

Some people say that we are fighting for (insert cause/policy), and this is no time to remain quiet…”they” are the enemy, etc. If that is your belief and outlook, then that will dictate your actions and words. It is your right to express your opinions; without harming others of course.

TV Appearance on Good Day Sacramento: “Talking Politics in the Workplace” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXUSHGrc56I

Depending on your age, you may not care if someone asks. Perhaps it’s a generation or cultural thing. Maybe it depends on whether the setting is business or social. 

At a recent social event, a women whom I met that evening, asked me from across the table, “How old are you?” There were no initial polite niceties like, “Oh my, you look so young...” Or, “You remind me of my younger sister…” (LOL). Want to know how I handled it? With a smile, I shook my head, hand to my ear, mouthing, “I can’t hear you” immediately turning to the person next to me. 

Here are few other possible responses:

Regarding the political portion of this newsletter, I understand that it is a very personal topic. I could easily insert any other controversial topic, and the tips and advice would be similar.

Treasure your relationships. Focus on what brought you together, the fun times, and the support you’ve given each other. Listen open-mindedly to understand each others position and why; then, drop it and go have an ice cream or hit some golf balls. 

Relationships can bring so much joy to our lives. To maintain them requires compromise, acceptance, forgiveness, laughter, space, and sometimes keeping our mouth shut.