NATIONAL ETIQUETTE WEEK: General Etiquette Q & A
Etiquette does not make a person superior; quite the contrary.
There still seems to be a common misconception that following etiquette guidelines is for formal occasions, high society, or outdated.
Etiquette is simply a set of guidelines to help us handle ourselves in business and social situations respectfully, graciously, and politely. It’s about being aware of how our facial expression, body language, actions and words affect others.
Naturally, knowing which is your bread plate is nice, but how you treat others and how we use our words is the real practice of etiquette.
RECOMMENDATION REQUESTS:
Q: “Alana” who I know from networking events asked me to write and post a recommendation for her business. I want to be helpful, but I don’t feel comfortable doing this. I don’t know much about her work ethic or services. How do I handle this?
A: This can be very awkward, especially if you don’t know the person or their services well. There are many options, here are a couple:
- You can write up a very general “referral” (different than a “recommendation”). What’s really the point, other than appeasing her.
- You can put Alana off by telling her you’re pretty busy, and will try to get to it this month. Hopefully, Alana will move on and forget about it.
- You can tactfully tell her that you don’t give recommendations unless you’ve personally experienced the product/service. Then, try to change the subject and hope they don’t get upset.
HERE, HAVE A MINT:
Q: During a meeting, one of my colleagues offered me a mint. I declined and felt a little insulted.
A: You have the right to feel any way you like, however, there are other ways of looking at like:
- They were being polite.
- They felt that they needed one, maybe you did too.
- They like to share with those around them.
- It was a way to build a more familiar relationship with you.
- Maybe your breath did stink, and they were being helpful.
NO GOLD STARS:
Q: My boss doesn’t always acknowledge my work. I feel like I work harder than anyone else in our department. Should I approach her?
A: Before approaching your boss about this, be certain about what you expect from her. Are you prepared to be disappointed?
Sometimes, right or wrong, a boss just needs their staff to get the job done, and may not have time to acknowledge every individual for every completed task.
Some bosses acknowledge their staff or a job well done in different ways; a talk or token bonus at the end of each quarter or an unexpected lunch. Others never do.
If you want, need, or feel you deserve special acknowledgement, you can consider this:
- Casually, and at a convenient time for your boss, say, “I wanted to make sure that job “X” was done to your satisfaction.” Or, “Was there anything that I could have done better?” This will force your boss to respond. Now, depending on your boss’s disposition, you may or may not hear what you want, or not enough of it.
Admittedly, this is somewhat cliche, but, do your best work because of your personal and professional ethics. And, if receive a pat on the back once in awhile, accept it and smile.
Articles of Interest:
Etiquette Tip Reels:
By the Way:
I started acting a few years ago! I’m loving it. Here is a current commercial where I appear. It’s for the California Department of Public Health, Alzheimer Awareness Campaign: https://www.youtube.
Business Etiquette Workshops:
For specific departments or general professional development
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