Person of Authority Overshares

When a person of authority overshares, it can become awkward.

Even if you have a open and casual relationship with your boss, there is always a boundary that can be crossed, for both of you. You may not feel it or know it, but you will once it’s crossed. This doesn’t necessarily apply to all topics. Once you find out that you align with one another, keep it between the two of you. Spreading someone’s views isn’t your business.

When a person of authority shares their opinion or plan, do you feel comfortable and confident to express an opposing opinion? Or, question their plan? Courteously of course. When a person of authority reveals their opinions, they may be alienating a staff member or client. Maintaining our privacy when it comes to hot topics will diminish awkwardness and maintain harmony.

Are there circumstances when you would hesitate to voice your opinion? For me, the answer is yes. Here is a recent incident where I remained quiet.

Prior to entering the body scanner at a California airport, I happened to say to the TSA agent, “Ready?” With a smile, his response was, “I was born ready.” I smiled back as I successfully walked through.

Whatever impression I gave, he apparently perceived it as an invitation to continue the interaction by telling me how he was “born ready from the moment I exited my mother’s vagina.” Yes, those were his words!

I had no comeback. So, he proceeded to express how much he loved women. Now I’m thinking, where is he going with this. “A woman can choose an abortion even when the baby arrives, I don’t know what all the fussn’s about. It’s up to you.” Returning to his military style stance, looking at the next traveler in line, he was done. And I was left speechless, turning to retrieve my bag from the conveyor.

It was odd, surprising, and

It wasn’t an appropriate time or circumstance to discuss this matter.
I don’t share my personal opinions about significant issues with just anyone, even if I’m in agreement.
This interaction wasn’t conversational; it was one-sided.
A TSA agent holds a position of authority, making a traveler think twice about how they respond, especially if they aren’t in agreement. Too risky no matter the topic.

Should bosses and supervisors remain impartial on controversial topics, causes, and politics?

It is doubtful that TSA agents are trained or encouraged to strike up conversations with travelers. Much less to express their opinions about controversial topics.

I could have told him that it was inappropriate. Okay, to what purpose?
I could have reported the incident to a supervisor. Or was he the supervisor? And, would it be worth the delay in filing a report and possibly missing my flight?
I could have said, “Right on.”

Instead, I looked at it as an interesting topic for my next blog post. What would you have done?

This 2014 article from The Hill. introduced a law requiring TSA agents to be “more polite,” not all of them got the message. Traveling through various airports, most TSA agents are civil. How we present ourselves may influence how they respond to us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A person of authority is someone in charge, including demoting or firing someone. This includes directors on set, chefs, salon owners, contractors, and personal trainers.

A person of authority has a responsibility to inspire, practice standards they expect from others, and have significant influence. Using one’s authority to secure an alliance or shut someone down is unethical and downright not-nice. In most cases, especially in the workplace, it is advisable to take time to consider what was said and weigh your options before speaking your mind.

Airplane Etiquette Article: Fox News: Passenger Attempts to Steal Seat

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