Workplace Courtesy | How to be Nice to Someone You Don’t Like
Workplace Courtesy | How to be Nice to Someone You Don’t Like
September is National Courtesy Month
7 Courtesies You Owe Your Coworkers
1. Keep your word. If you say you’ll have data ready, do it. If you say you’ll pay back, do it.
2. Arrive on time. Being late on occasion is usually overlooked, especially when it’s beyond our control and/or we sincerely apologize. Consistently being late makes you unreliable; not a trait people find charming. It can be disruptive at a meeting or unfair to a client who is waiting.
3. Don’t interrupt. Sometimes our excitement to share our experience or relate to someone prompts us to jump into an existing conversation. This can sometimes be overlooked, especially if it’s followed by an apology.
However, when you take over the conversation to one-up someone, show that you are more knowledgeable, challenge what they are saying, or diminish their importance, that is rude and annoying.
4. Control your unpredictable personality. We’ve all had a bad day. Most of the time it is overlooked by our coworkers. However, if your disposition changes from day-to-day or morning to afternoon, it can be frustrating and annoying to those around you, especially if you’re the boss.
Why should your coworkers walk on egg shells because you are in “one of your moods.” Making it unpleasant to approach you can affect their ability to get their task done. Get it together and focus on developing a professional personality.
5. Avoid gossip. If you hear it, don’t spread it. Why?
- It may not be true.
- It may ruin someone’s reputation.
- You will be seen as someone who doesn’t know the meaning of “confidentiality.”
Consider instead declining to receive hearsay. Consider privately sharing what is being spread with the person it’s about.
6. Clear up misunderstandings. Jumping to conclusions or reading into a text or email that seems unclear can lead to an unwarranted reaction. Before you rant, end a relationship or respond to what you think they meant, clear it up. Give the person a chance to correct or explain it.
- Your message was unclear to me. Would you please rephrase it?
- What I got from your message is “…”. Is that how you meant it?
- Before I read into it, I’d like to talk about your message.
7. Don’t stink. This is a sensitive topic that needs to be addressed. Over the years, I’ve been asked to cover “personal hygiene” in my presentations.
We are accustomed to our body’s scent, therefore, skipping a couple of days without showering may not bother us. If you work from home and do not expect to be in close proximity of anyone, go for it. However, if you’re flying, hiring a ride, attending a meeting, or working in a shared space, please bathe. Please put on fresh clothes.
Other bothersome aromas include bringing in pungent foods, your unbathed dog, and strong-scented perfume.
How to Be Nice to Someone You Don’t Like
We won’t like everyone we meet. And, not everyone that meets us will like us. While it is nice to like and be liked, we can decide to maintain a civil demeanor with everyone. (I address this in the above TV video.)
Consider this:
- What was your mood at the time you met?
- What were you doing or preparing to do?
- What is it exactly that you don’t like about them?
- When did the feeling of dislike begin?
- Do others seem to have the same impression of them? (Not that you should take a poll. You can discreetly observe how others interact with them.)
- Other than that indescribable vibe, do they conduct themselves in an approachable and professional manner?
- Consider a second-chance. Start a casual conversation in the lunchroom.
“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.” –Oscar Wilde
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Allowing our moods or feelings to dictate how we treat others is unfair to the world. Taking a moment to explain our mood to our coworkers can eliminate the wrong impression and rumors.
Most of us have something or someone who “triggers” an unpleasant or a spiteful emotion. How we handle this emotion is our responsibility, not an excuse to hurt others or conduct ourselves in an unprofessional manner.
No one can control my emotions, but me. At least that is what I strive for.
The above etiquette tips are general, subject to interpretation, specific circumstances, and personal perspective.
