Valentine's Day Dilemmas When Newly Dating

It’s Valentine’s Day and you’ve just started dating. What could go wrong?

Some people dread Valentine’s Day because of:

A bad experience.
No love interest.
A recent break up.
Pressure to perform and conform.
Expectations are too high. Whatever you do is never good enough.

If you are newly dating, here are 7 things that might make you run or reconsider your new relationship:

Many times when the relationship is new, we don’t pick up on ‘red flags’. We all know those indicators that we feel in our gut, but sometimes choose to ignore. Admittedly, what one person sees as a ‘red flag’, can be endearing to another.

If you’ve only gone out a few times, and they want to know what plans you’re making for Valentine’s Day.
If they send you links to “gift ideas for the one you love.” Or, direct link to a designer handbag or jewelry store, highlighting an item.
If they mention specific restaurants that they’ve been dying to go to.
If they talk about, or send you links to luxury weekend getaways, and expect you to pay for it.
If they talk about how wonderful and generous their last Valentine’s Day dates were.
If they’ve planned out the evening without discussing it with you.
If they disregard how you feel about Valentine’s Day.

5 Things to consider before buying a gift or making plans:

When you don’t know each other well, it can be a challenge to buy a gift or plan a date. Having an open discussion can help avoid unfulfilled expectations and awkward dilemmas.

Consider whether they feel as deeply about you, as you do about them. Your heart may be telling you to spend, spend, spend, and then top it off with a glittery romantic mushy card. If their heart doesn’t match yours, you may be labeled as desperate or crazy.
Consider celebrating Valentine’s Day the day before or after. Avoid the rush, pre fixe menus, higher prices, etc. If this isn’t acceptable to them, it might be wise to find out why; their explanation may be telling.
Consider a hike and picnic, food-truck dining, a jointly-cooked meal at home. Many times, low-key dates takes away the onus of one person making all of the arrangements. It is conducive to a more casual attitude, making it easier to be yourself.
Consider a no-gift exchange. Instead choose to buy tickets to an event, museum, or movie. This is a way you learn more about each other’s interests. One buys the tickets, and the other lunch. Outing like these also provides topics of conversation.
Avoid extravagant or super intimate gifts. An overly expensive gift can make it awkward for them. It can make them feel overwhelmed or even feel obligated to reciprocate. It could be a sign that you’re coming on too strong. Besides, if you are still together next year, you’ve set the spending standard pretty high. Even thought it’s quite common to buy intimate apparel, body lotions, or a can of whipped cream, if the relationship hasn’t evolved to that level of intimacy, it’s a risky purchase.

Final thoughts: Spending a significant amount of money on someone you’ve known for a short time, and they either don’t reciprocate, appreciate, or dump you, will leave you feeling used.

Isn’t Valentine’s Day for both parties involved? A time to express your love and appreciation for one another; not one sides.

Etiquette Expert, Author, Media Source | Actor

Imparting advice to businesses, private sessions, and the film industry. Available to hold virtual or in-person session to prepare individuals/groups for job interviews, dining out, improving communication techniques.

Film industry: Fine-tune actors’ etiquette skills for roles. Bilingual (Spanish/Mexican). Certified COVID Compliance Officer.

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