New Relationship Expectations on Valentine’s Day

Being in a new relationship on Valentine’s Day can be a bit awkward. How can it be avoided? By having an open discussion. Yes, it may take away a bit of the surprise, but if the surprise isn’t what “they” expected, it could be a lot more awkward.

Here are five things to consider before buying a gift or making plans:

1. Do they feel as deeply about you, as you do about them?

Your heart is telling you to spend, spend, spend. Oh, and don’t forget the mushy card and dinner.

What if their heart doesn’t match yours? You could come across as desperate, crazy, overbearing, and even presumptuous!

2. Consider celebrating Valentine’s Day the day before or after.

Avoid the rush, the prix fixe menus and higher prices. If this idea doesn’t go over well, or they are insistent on celebrating on “the day”, this may reveal a little about who they really are.

3. Consider low-key options.

A low-key out of the ordinary date can take away the pressure to impress and be impressed. It reduces the expectations and relieves the responsibility of one or both parties to provide the perfect experience. A casual atmosphere, especially early in the relationship, makes it easier to be “yourself.”

Decide together to go for a hike and picnic; a food-truck experience; jointly cook a meal; etc.

Related TV Appearance: Good Day Sacramento: Relationships: Valentine’s Day

4. Consider a no-gift exchange.

Hopefully you’ve learned about each others interests. Take the pressure off and buy tickets to a mutually enjoyable event, splurge on a bottle of wine you’ve both wanted to try, or if you’re the gift-giving type, decide on a reasonable spending cap.

5. Avoid extravagant or super intimate gifts.

Giving an overly expensive gift when the relationship is new, can make the recipient feel overwhelmed. They may feel embarrassed if they don’t have an equally expensive gift for you. They may also feel:

that you’re coming on too strong.
they may feel obligated to continue dating you.
they may be uncertain about your motives or expectations.
that you just set a pretty high standard for future gifts.
or, they’ll accept it gladly, humbly, gratefully.
or, they’ll expect more.

Super intimate gifts can definitely be awkward, unless, you’ve both hinted at hooking up, or have already had a romantic tryst. If not, avoid giving massage oils, panties, adult toys, whipped cream…you get the idea. If you both have a good sense of humor and communicate openly, go for it, and see where it takes you.

Final thought: Reevaluate, if this new person of interest is imposing or expecting you to make this day, or any other significant occasion “perfect, just the way they want it”, you might want to reconsider the relationship.

Extending your budget because they have high expectations or taste, is your business. However, without an honest conversation about each others views on expenses, you will learn whether your goals are compatible.

*Advice is general. There are always circumstances that must be considered. A sense of humor is advised.

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