Newly dating during the holidays can be revealing.

When the relationship is new we don’t often pick up on red flags. This can be especially overlooked when it’s near our birthday, an upcoming wedding or the holiday season.

There are two potential snags that are associated with events and holidays. They are, gift-giving and meeting the family.

Depending on how one or the other views or feels about the relationship, it can complicate matters. What do I mean?

What if Loretta is happy dating Fabian on a casual basis, but Fabian believes he has found his true love? Fabian will be expecting more time, suggesting more intimacy, and spending much more money on you.

Because it’s merely a casual thing, Loretta does not include Fabian in her holiday plans. Fabian is hurt and confused, possibly leading to a public declaration of his love. (Dramatic, but you get my point.)

Here are 7 tell-tale signs that they are more serious:

  1. They are insistent on doing everything together.
  2. They seek out and send friend requests to your family and friends.
  3. They portray their relationship status as official and/or permanent.
  4. They buy extravagant gifts for you.
  5. They disregard your boundaries about keeping it casual.
  6. They surprise you by bringing a family member on your coffee date.
  7. The most obvious, they talk about your future together.

What can you do if “Fabian” is moving too fast? Don’t wait until you find an engagement ring at the bottom of your coffee mug.

Talk before you get freaked out or it becomes a thing.  Calmly explain to “Fabian” where you stand. If he dismisses you, rephrase it. If it’s dismissed again, you have a problem beyond my etiquette expertise.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

On a less dramatic a more serious note, if you are both on the same wavelength about the relationship, you might still talk about setting some guidelines about gift-giving and how and where you’re spending the holidays. It will take the pressure so that you can enjoy the holiday season or event without apprehension.

Communication skills, social skills, picking up on social cues, office gossip…

Contact me to discuss how we can work together by providing a customized workshop for your staff. Workshop are available for college students, community organizations, sales team, actors, athletes attending fundraisers, general professional development, support Code of Conduct, to support implementing new employee standards in 2025.

 

 

 

 

 

Photo: Pexels