How should I feel when my sister in-law hides all the good stuff when we visit?
Having houseguests can be fun and a lot of work, depending on who they are. This can also dictate whether we put out our best crystal wine glasses or the plastic cups from the bargain store.
These are a few things that a host must consider:
- Are they careless?
- Are their mini-homewrecker children go unsupervised?
- Do they carelessly put their dusty shoes on the couch?
- Do they carry around their bag-o-chips all over the house?
- Do they use up half the bottle luxury body wash in one shower?
If you answered yes to any of the above, as a host, I would consider putting away my good stuff.
Q: We visit and stay with my husband’s sister several times a year. She and I get along well and our children all get along. They live in a very nice home and enjoy a more upscale lifestyle than us. This has never affected our relationship except recently I noticed that she hides her nice products leaving over-the-counter brands for us to use. She has also now put out beach towels instead of her regular bath towels. Should I bring it up to her?
A: Let me ask you to consider this:
- Have you spoken to your husband about this?
- How do you know she hides the nice products?
- Do you deplete these products by the end of your stay?
- Maybe it costs too much to share with guests.
- Maybe they’ve gone minimalist.
- Does your family treat her home and the items within with care?
Think about it. Do they have established practices on how they utilize items within their home? In other words, do they tend to care a lot about their stuff? Are their household rules different than yours? Since you are a guest, it is up to you to try to go along with their rules and ways of doing things.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
If this is the only concern you have about the relationship, try not to read into it. Don’t let the brand of body wash ruin what you have. Consider what your husband advises. It is after all his sister. He may have some insight that will help ease your mind. If your curiosity gets the best of you, ask her about the products. Not why she hides them, but to express how much you loved it last time you visited and that you’d like to jot down the brand.
The above etiquette tips are general, subject to interpretation, specific circumstances, and personal perspective. There are always more options. If your concern is ongoing and/or escalating, seek professional assistance from a trusted source.
Business Etiquette Training: Communication skills, social skills, picking up on social cues, office gossip…
Contact me to discuss how we can work together by providing a customized workshop for your staff. Workshop are available for youth, high school, college students, community organizations, sales team, actors, athletes attending fundraisers, general professional development, to support Code of Conduct, to support implementing new employee standards in 2025.
Photo: Pexels
