Returning home from college or university can be a difficult adjustment for both student and parent, especially when it’s the first time back home. After all, many students have dreamed of going to college for years and may have only been able to attend with the help of GoFundMe so they may be slightly disorientated by their first return home.
He’s coming home from college for the first time! His favorite cookies are baked, his favorite yogurt is neatly stacked in the refrigerator, his bed is freshly made, and all of the ingredients for his favorite dishes are purchased–you are ready for you baby’s first visit home from college.
He arrives, throws his laundry bag filled with smelly clothes on the floor, turns on the television, checks his cell phone, says, “love you mom,” and tells you that he’ll be back later as he grabs a handful of cookies and one of his many fake ids on the way out.
You are stunned! There goes the cozy evening you had planned. And it begins. You start in on him. “How could you leave when you just got here. I put my life on hold today to make your favorite dish and those cookies you like…and your going out!” (Whoa there; that’ll make him want to stay home.)
I’m not saying that you don’t have every right to feel hurt and disappointed. You don’t have to share it with him; not that way.
They’ve been away from home, they’ve had a taste of independence–adjustments will inevitably have to be made, on both sides. When children go to college, they do experience a new lifestyle. They get used to doing things with their friends, so they become a lot more independent. That’s all part of the university and college experience. For those wanting to go to university, it’s so important to find a good one. This will make the transition a lot smoother. Perhaps some people should consider the universities in Pittsburgh, for example. They are believed to be great for students. Make sure to find one that you love. This will make it easier for parents too. They just want to see you shine at the end of the day. While you are looking at universities though, you could also think of a way to pay for your tuition. If you already have an existing student loan, you might want to consider opting for companies who could refinance student loans! This way you would maintain your benefits, while introducing a new interest rate and repayment schedule for your credit.
My book, “When Junior Comes Home From College” is full of tips and illustrations. An easy and great way to open up the doors of communication.
Here are a few tips from the book:
- They will not spend every waking moment with you. Give them space and privacy.
- They will have picked up odd eating habits.
- Yes, you do have to adhere to “house rules.” It’s not your dorm room.
- Yes, you should give up your “teen-like” attitude…want to be treated as an adult, act like one.
Some young adult’s mannerisms and views change dramatically, while others are almost unnoticeable. Sit back and learn and enjoy your child’s version of the world.
Pick up a few copies; one for yourself and your friends who may also be experiencing “when they come home from college for the first time. After you read it, place it by “Junior’s” nightstand, next to the commode, or wherever they spend time sitting.
P.S. “He” and “Junior” are used for story line purposes; meant to characterize both genders.
Helping Businesses and Individuals Find Success Through Better Communication and Social Skills
Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, Social Skills and Civility Presenter, Media Source, and author of “Don’t Burp in the Boardroom.”
Presentations are available to support HR policies, sales teams, up and coming managers, millennials & new-hire orientation process, service technicians, professional development events, conferences, college/university students, interns. For more information, please contact me, 650.871.6200.
© 2017 Rosalinda Randall. All Rights Reserved.