We can’t stop people from criticizing. We can choose how we handle it.
I’m not referring to criticism you might receive on social media. Who are they? A bunch of anonymous people who need to vent, tear you down, fill their idle time posting unhelpful empty commentary! That, you MUST learn to ignore.
How we respond to criticism. Sometimes our sensitivities come from our upbringing. Not only if we were criticized often or watched criticism tossed around every day. Also, was the criticism productive or destructive? Do you criticize others without recognizing you do it?
Sometimes, criticism can be a gift.
What do I mean, “criticism can be a gift”? Sometimes gifts come in the form of a greasy brown paper bag. But when we open it up, there’s a delicious apple fritter inside. Don’t immediately jump to conclusions or react when you are the recipient of criticism or feedback.
It is sometimes easier to receive criticism from a stranger or a boss than it is from a friend or family member. We have certain expectations of our friends and family like, they love us just the way we are. Or they have to love us just the way we are.
Here are five ways that can help you be less sensitive to criticism. Before you lash out, walk out or get choked up, ask yourself:
1. Could their criticism be true? Remember the ‘greasy brown paper bag’? We often react or get defensive, and that is a natural response. Especially if it was delivered publicly. Keep in mind that in most cases, we do not have to respond at that moment. Take it in. Talk it over with a trusted friend.
2. Were they trying to be helpful? We can usually tell how a person meant something by the tone of their voice, cadence, facial expression and how they worded it.
3. Are they going through some stuff? While this is not an excuse for making rude or hurtful remarks, it does explain it. If you know it’s not like them or they are going through some personal stuff, give them grace; overlook it, drop it, and move on.
4. Did it help you become aware of something that you can correct and improve? Was it a gift after all? After the sting subsides and you’ve wiped away the tears, now you can hop back on that “path to personal growth”. Changing habits that don’t serve us well or are annoying to other people, will make way for new challenges and opportunities. Again, a gift!
5. Are they someone you respect? Maybe you react to all criticism. Become more selective as to whom you allow to ‘hurt your feelings.’ Personally, my feelings can be a little touched if it comes from someone I respect. Other than that, I’ll take it in, give it a moment, then toss it away.
FINAL NOTES:
No matter who you are or how perfect and right you think you are, you will receive feedback and criticism at some point.
Criticism can also be seen as a different perspective. It is always wise to hear different points of view. That is how we keep our mind open and maintain mutually respectful relationships.
I hope this has provided a different perspective about receiving feedback and criticism.
The above etiquette tips are general, subject to interpretation, specific circumstances, and personal perspective. There are always more options. If your concern is ongoing and/or escalating, seek professional assistance from a trusted source.
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