How the Golden Globes Taught Us How to Make Men Feel Uncomfortable
The Golden Globes taught us how to make men feel uncomfortable.
These Hollywood awards events are not unlike a work-related company event where a professional demeanor is still required. Including refraining from insulting, bullying. intentionally embarrassing someone or launching a takeover.
Ah, the glittery Golden Globes Awards, where people across the country traditionally tune in to see what their favorite celeb is wearing, their new hair style, to admire how gracious, funny, witty, or handsome they are. Others watch to mock and gab about how old, fat, and ugly the celebrity has gotten. Either way, it gives television audiences a glimpse into the life of glamour and gossip. A good old-fashioned escape from reality.
In recent years, the entertainment industry’s events have morphed into politically-charged speeches, movements, causes; an opportunity to push or vent their opposition to whatever. By the way, I’m all for it! (I’m sure they’ll let out a big “Whew!” knowing they’ve got my approval.)
My beef is with the not-so-subtle messages or veiled themes. Why don’t they openly own it! Orchestrating everyone’s wardrobe was impressive and quite accommodating of the guests. (Heaven forbid you wore color.) Everyone outwardly had to march to the beat of one drum; no room for expression or for just having a good time, especially the men.
Hollywood, here’s a concept; openly adopt a theme, movement, a cause so that people can choose to watch, support, endorse or decline to attend. Be inclusive. No one group of guests in attendance should have to endure bashing, shaming, labeled or being scolded. Further, be forced to endure it for fear of being labeled disinterested, insensitive or even guilty of said cause. In the real world, this steady dolloping of anti-male and woman power commentary could be construed as harassment or at the very least, bullying.
A fun quiz: How many sexual harassment/bullying comments did you hear at the Golden Globes Awards?
Instead of endless and repetitive jargon, rehearsed tag lines, lapel pins, sarcastic remarks, male-oriented zingers, continue to build and focus on something productive like the the Legal Defense fund for low-income employees that you all started. “And here are all the male nominee,,” Natalie Portman. Apparently, sarcasm trumps charm and good manners. My dear Ms. Portman, would your statement have been regarded as charming if one of those pesky males used the same line in reverse?
All that these subliminal or opportunistic messages do is show how impolite and unprofessional you are. Why would you stick it to all men, when all men are not guilty. And finally, aren’t you perpetrating incivility, disrespect, divisiveness and gender-bashing? And, doesn’t this feed into the stereotype that women can’t play with or work around the big boys in the business arena.Communication is a powerful tool. Our message carries more significance if we communicate in a professional and less latent manner. Click To Tweet
With all that said, my main message is from an etiquette and civility standpoint; everyone attending the Golden Globes was a guest.
Guest: a person who receives the hospitality of a club, a city, or the like.
Here are a few rules of etiquette for guests:
· A guest does not say or do anything that could disrespect or cause discomfort to the hosts or other guests. (Oops, Ms. Portman took care of this one.)
· A guest has an obligation to be pleasant and inclusive. (Oops, again.)
· A guest does not engage in self-promotion. (Causes, movements included.)
I am not trivializing the abuse that has gone on. I have also had similar experiences. But, human nature and my gut tells me that while the mass exposé of abusers of powermay decrease, it will continue with a lot more discretion of course. Here are current examples in the heart of the Silicon Valley where sex plays a powerful role:
“How the guys in the tech industry find dates”
“Beautiful Party Guests…Adds to the Atmosphere”
It is important to note that my commentary does not apply to gross physical attack, brazen exposure, and incessant stalker-like pleas. One’s safety and the law is foremost. By the way, a one-week stay in rehab or a tearful apology ain’t gonna cut it.
How can sexual misconduct or quid pro quo methods of conducting business ever cease? It’s obvious that well-meaning anti-harassment posters haven’t done the trick.
It requires a personal belief and practice of ethics and integrity for sexual harassment to cease.
Sometimes these cherished traits can be blurred, bought or justified when a person is in a position of power. We all have the ability to make decisions, whether it is proposing questionable terms or hesitantly but willingly accepting terms that are by most considered unethical, unfair or immoral.
“It was the only way to break into this field.” Well then, you made a choice.
We can’t play on the upper playground without running into a few bullies.
Unfair! Yes, the world is unfair. People are unfair. But I’ll be damned if I am going to dwell on what a few individuals (men) proposed or about the obstacles they placed in my way. #NotMe
Final thoughts: My goals and my life are much too valuable to expend energy on a few unethical or self-absorbed men. And, if I choose to address the matter, it will be only with the person(s) whom I have the conflict with, not an entire group. I choose to make my point with integrity and dignity, and at an appropriate time. I choose to stand up to wrongdoings and seek assistance to help me if necessary.
Helping Businesses And Individuals Build A More Respectful Workplace Through Social Skills, Effective Communication, And Modern Business Manners
Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, Social Skills, Communication Skills, Business Etiquette Expert, Media Source, and author of “Don’t Burp in the Boardroom.” Trained in Sexual Harassment & Cultural Communication.
Presentations are available to support HR policies and harassment compliance, address concerns, or to avert potential inclinations – Up and coming managers – Millennials – Interns – New-hire orientation process – Layoffs to help prepare them for interviews – Professional development events or conferences – College/university students.
For more information, please contact me via email, or by calling 650.871.6200 before a dilemma turns into front page news.
Disclaimer: My advice is general and may not suit your particular situation. Additionally, to keep it brief, my answers are basic. There is always more than one way to handle a dilemma. Company policies and state laws trump all content.
Note: I often use sarcasm and/or humor to make a point, scoff or highlight absurdity.